Written by LEDHEAD

Tuesday, 31 March 2015

image for New Age Dairy given free range status by EU for its Virtual Cinemagraphic Dome and the chickens love it.
A chicken totally delighted with her new living quarters in Norwich.

People will recall the Surround Dome Theatre which was a popular fairground attraction in the 1980's. Disney World, Lego-land and Blackpool all had them. The audience were treated to virtual rides on roller coasters and racing cars with every wall surrounded completely by the trickery of cinema.

New Age Dairy PLC in Norfolk have invested in 4 million pounds in such a dome, almost three football fields long to accommodate their egg laying chickens. CEO, Everard Cluck came up with the idea after hundreds of his free range chickens were catching bird flu, being eaten by foxes and being temperamental with regards to weather conditions.

The dome runs a virtual world for the chickens with pleasing pastoral views and country sounds. The amphitheatre also produces a stable atmosphere and near perfect temperature. The conditions are so realistic that egg production has increased by 47% with nearly all the chickens ecstatic with their living conditions.

EU head of agriculture, Pierre Lamont, is totally impressed with the idea and gave New Age Dairy PLC the right to call their eggs 'free range'. 'This totally endorses what we've being trying to achieve and we are delighted our eggs have been branded free range. The only hicup we had with the system happened during installation when my son accidentally shoved the Texas Chain Saw Massacre into The DVD player. I must say that the chickens did looked distressed that day and it was a good hour or so before we could calm them down', said Mr Cluck. 'A few of the birds did have to be sedated'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: New Age, dairy

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