TOPEKA, Kan. - With sister sites on their homepage listed as GodHatesIslam.com, GodHatesTheMedia.com, GodHatesTheWorld.com, JewsKilledJesus.com, BeastObama.com, and PriestsRapeBoys.com, many would think the webpage was home to some whacked-out, meth-heads who go around wearing Nazi uniforms and terrorize little old ladies in parking decks. But wait, it's actually a homepage for a church.
Yes, a church. The Westboro Baptist Church. And if you use Google (or probably any other search engine and type the name of this church into the search bar), Westboro Baptist Church Homepage pops up high on the page, most likely it's the first entry - and if you happen upon some page named God Hates Fags, well, you're there - this is actually the homepage of a Christian organization in America's heartland. SAY JEEE-ZUZ!
This church protests all over the country and they're not afraid to cross over national boundaries, either. In late August 2014, Westboro Baptist was actually going to protest ISIS in Iraq. Australian comedian Adam Hills generously offered to foot all travel expenses for the "do gooders" if they'd venture over to Iraq and protest ISIS. Obviously, it was part of his comedy routine. Hills never anticipated that the church would actually take him up on his offer.
"I will personally pay for every member of the Westboro Baptist Church to fly to Iraq right now. I'll even fly you First Class and pay the carbon offset," said Hills, host of The Last Leg, an Aussie comedy show.
A few days later, Hills reneged on his offer. saying that although he had huge amounts of money at his disposal for such a dare, he meant the entire thing as a joke and never thought the church would say "Sounds good. We're going. Get that plane ready. We're all flying First Class. Whoopy Dogs! Oh, Stewardess, I'll have a large cream soda and some of those fancy schmanzy crackers, please."
"I don't want to fight hate with hate and I certainly don't want to give these guys more publicity," said Hills on the online magazine The Christian Post. Instead, Hills donated the money to a charity the late/great comic and actor Robin Williams supported.
"That's why I'm going to take all the money I was going to spend on your air tickets and I'm going to donate it directly to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in the name of Robin Williams," the comic said.
Now if The Spoof made any real money, we might be able to talk Mark into taking over this bid. Maybe we wouldn't fly over the corpse of Westboro Baptist Church's pastor Fred Waldron Phelps, along with his entourage with First Class tickets in hand, but instead, third-rate budget, how's that sound? Yes, we'd certainly come up with some kind of deal. Unfortunately, as it sits right now, we're kind of out of the loop on such an offer. There just aren't enough pennies, nickels and dimes lying around to give Westboro Baptist another offer to go to Iraq and protest ISIS.
Not to worry, Westboro Baptist has a lot on its plate and their schedule of upcoming riots certainly illustrates that they're a bunch of rabidly busy beavers. Here are some of the upcoming festivities, cut and pasted right off their schedule, for those lazy readers who don't want to click on the link provided:
* Christ Cathedral in Garden Grove, CA April 20, 2015 8:45 AM - 10:00 AM
WBC will protest the public worship of the dead body of Robert Schuller! This is not a funeral - it is a ceremony of pomp, circumstance and larger than life lies with the "Christian" elite bowing down to a dead body. Robert Schuller, an alleged evangelical preacher, made many, many proselytes twofold more the children of hell than himself!
After his false ministry went bankrupt, his Crystal Cathedral, bought and paid for by lust and greed, fell into the hands of the child raping machine known as the Catholics. From one lust driven, idol worshiping, apostate monster to another. In his 88 years Schuller preached this nation into proud sin, forgetting the commandments of God, who made this nation, stealing His glory, while the people wallow in fornication, adultery, sodomy, and same-sex marriage...
* Georgetown University in Washington, DC April 27, 2015 4:00 PM - 4:30 PM
WBC will picket Georgetown University in religious protest and warning: God is not mocked. All people affiliated with the universities of this nation have given themselves over to the fag agenda. Georgetown dedicates the entire month of October to 24-7 promotion of fag filth such that they have renamed it "Outober" on campus.
According to the New York Times, Nate Tisa, Georgetown's openly sodomitical student body president, said "Society is changing and God is in that change." in 2013. He hoped Georgetown would lead churches toward a new understanding of homosexuality. Yes, God is in that change and you all will have to answer for willingly cheering it on. God controls all events but not for the good of people serving their lusts. Rather all things work for the good of those that obey His laws. These perverts think they won't have to answer for their vile sins since they represent the majority of doomed americans. They shall discover how wrong they are on the Judgement Day.
* White House in Washington, DC April 27, 2015 5:00 PM - 5:30 PM
WBC will picket the White House again to shine a bright light upon your bloody pillars of "sodomy" and "abortion", and to remind you that God won't let fag marriage go, and His prophets will not cease to tell you that.
* Supreme Court Of The United States in Washington, DC April 28, 2015 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM
The most powerful court in the world - probably in the history of humankind - is the United States Supreme Court. You Justices bear great responsibility for the awful moral condition of this nation. 'For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more,' Luke 12:48. God is watching as this record is made for eternity! 'God standeth in the congregation of the mighty; he judgeth among the gods,' Ps. 82:1. Expositors: By 'gods' judges are meant, so called because they are clothed with great power and authority. You violate God?s Holy Law, making rebellion the mores and laws of this cursed land....
Well, if you end up going to Iraq to protest ISIS, keep in mind it'll be a rough crowd, Wesboro Baptist Church members. What kind of picket sign are you going to throw in the face of this guy? Or this nice gentleman? And what kind of hymn are you going to sing to these friendly looking gents?
Yes, religious freaks with hatred and zeal will tread into territory where the Marines, Navy Seals and Army Rangers are a little reluctant to tread.
Well, there's more, but the story's getting a bit long now. Anyhow, if you'd like to get Westboro Baptist on your Twitter horn - and send them some love tweets, hate tweets, or monetary offers to a take a plane flight to Iraq, feel free. If you're still a snail mailer, here's the magic ticket: 3701 SW 12th St, Topeka, KS 66604. And if you'd like to give Westboro Baptist a shout on your cell, punch in (785) 273-0325.
And remember, Jesus loves you. Yes, He really, really does. He loves us all. Somebody has to, thank God for Him, right?
Can I have a big AMEN?!
