Fears about 'exploding manhole cover syndrome' outside Ecuador embassy making Julian Assange bonkers

Funny story written by queen mudder

Monday, 25 August 2014

image for Fears about 'exploding manhole cover syndrome' outside Ecuador embassy making Julian Assange bonkers
Last year Assange complained that this fire hydrant was secretly tracking his every move

London, UK - A build-up of toxic safe house gases under the Ecuadorian embassy building in Knightsbridge has hit the fugitive from justice hard.

WikiLeaks renegade Julian Assange fears his life is in danger from a potential explosion outside his basement bedroom 'window' in Basil Street, London SW3.

Last week a pavement blast in nearby Hans Crescent sent shockwaves throughout the neighborhood, rattling Assange's internet connection and trashing his HackBerry settings.

This morning at a meeting with human frights lawyer Anal Alapudding, the soon-to-be Mrs George Looni, confirmed his worst suspicions that cops might be trying a new ruse to smoke him out.

The top worry appears to be some sort of staging of a 'rescue' attempt by London first responders - possibly during Anal's upcoming Clooney nuptials in Italy.

International agreements between the nations mean police can never break diplomatic immunity to enter the legation unless invited to do so by the ambassador.

However an emergency such as an explosion - or sudden, similar 'sink hole' tragedy' - could see security forces storm the building.

And send Assange straight back to HMP Belmarsh to await extradition to Sweden.

Reports that it's the fugitive and NOT George Clooney is the father of Alapudding's 'baby' may not be so bizarre after all.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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