Written by Auntie Jean

Friday, 26 September 2014

image for Kim Jong un "Glad About" D.L.T. Verdict
Kim Jong un's lifestyle coach rejects D.L.Ts

Kim Jong un announced today that his advisers have informed him that D.L.T baps are off the menu on international flights after a trial period. The tasting committee's verdict was announced this morning.

The fattening sandwiches (Dutch cheese, lettuce and tomatoes) are being blamed for Kim Jong currently needing three aircraft seats plus two seat belt extensions every time he flies.

His liking for Emmental Swiss cheese which he has specially flown in, has resulted in a weight increase from 250lbs to 400lbs combined with accompanying flatulence, constipation and tertiary haemorrhoids. But the D.L.T baps which actually have fewer calories than the E.L.C. baps previously obtainable on North Korean Airlines have proved so irresistible to the ruler that he has been ordering twelve for breakfast, 15 for lunch and 20 for dinner.

He has ordered all the manufacturers to be shot and the catering staff to receive three month suspended prison sentences.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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