Written by queen mudder

Thursday, 7 August 2014

image for Kenyan body parts fetishist who asked for Chelsea Clinton's hand in marriage gored to death by elephant
40 Freezin Bollocks he said

Nairobi - She was to have been his trophy wife in exchange for 40 Friesian bullocks and a pregnant chihuahua.

Unfortunately prospective father-in-law Bill Clinton wasn't having it on account of tough Washington DC quarantine laws.

This morning the body of Nairobi journalist Godwin Chepkurgor was found in a remote mango field having been gored to death by a raging bull elephant.

Witnesses say he was 69 at the time of the impalement, something of an achievement considering.

Chepkurgor rose to fame in 2000 during President Clinton's famous Africa tour when he offered to cement Kenyan-American relations by taking Chelsea off Bill and Hillary's hands.

Rejection hit him badly when US presidential security had him certified at the very suggestion of a Chelsea love match.

According to reports from QM-NewsCorpseAfrika stringers Chepkurgor then sought solace by filling his apartment with pigs' trotters which he proceeded to tattoo with pics of Chelsea.

Over five hundred are listed in his last will and testament, bequeathed to the Clinton Foundation's Africa arm.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Chelsea Clinton

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