Who Is Paying For Hillary's Pizza Deliveries?

Written by K.C. Bell

Sunday, 29 June 2014

image for Who Is Paying For Hillary's Pizza Deliveries?
Hold the anchovies.

While students are looking forward to a 17% increase in tuition, Hillary's speaking fees of $225,000 at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas and $300,000 at the University of California, Los Angeles, remain a huge and difficult hard lump for these scholars to swallow.

"No tuition dollars and no state funds were used," says a university spokesperson.

Students are not gullible, have heart burn and remain suspicious.

UCLA spokesman Jean-Paul Renaud said, "Clinton's fee was paid through a private endowment established for a lecture series by Meyer Luskin, an investor and president of Scope Industries, a food waste recycling company."

Time to pass the Alka-Seltzer.

Students are asking that the former Secretary of State return the money.

No way, says the former Secretary of State. She insists that the money is going into the Bill, Hillary And Chelsea Clinton Foundation, and not into their wallets, like say to pay for their gas and electric bill or pizza deliveries, (vegan of course) even though she claims they were, "dead broke" when they left the White House.

That vacating cleaning fee at the White House must have been a palooza. Remember, they even left their pet cat Boots at the White House. They would have really been, "dead broke" if they could not afford to pay for cat food at .50 cents a day.

And if there is indeed a Bill, Hillary And Chelsea Clinton Foundation, why isn't Chelsea's husband's name on the Foundation title? After all, they are married and he is the father of Chelsea's expectant child? Does he realize that maybe he's been left out of the family Foundation sort of like Boots?

Not to worry. Chelsea works for the Bill, Hillary And Chelsea Clinton Foundation, and must be paid a salary and therefore Hillary's speaking fees do indeed, (in a round about way) pay for the gas and electric bill, and pizza deliveries, (vegan of course) of the only full time working member in the Clinton family.

Meanwhile, students are looking forward to a 17% increase in tuition fees, more top ramen meals and additional Alka-Seltzer.

Read more by this author:

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more