Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese

Funny story written by Frank Michaels

Wednesday, 5 March 2014

image for Say Goodbye to Meat and Cheese
No more meats?

Los Angeles, CA (STT News) - People of the world - learn to like bugs. That's the message recently released by Dr. Falter O. Longer, director of the USC's Elitist Longevity Institute. The study by the institute states clearly that things like meat, cheese, seafood along with good beers, red wines and clean water are killing more people than all the wars combined.

"We must accept that the foods we like will soon no longer be available to those most in need of nutrition. This is because the world's most wealthy, powerful and elite wish to help the global population live as long and as healthy a life as possible."

Dr. Longer went on to say that instead of things like roast beef and broiled chicken, we should begin a diet of insects, pine cones, dried leaves and even cow manure, "While we may initially dislike the idea of munching cockroaches and houseflies, it is something that is coming. The UN, in humanitarian coordination with world bankers, power-brokering politicians and major corporations, will soon see to it that beef, pork, poultry, seafood, dairy and fresh vegetables disappear from market shelves."

The Elitist Longevity Institute (ELI) study is due to be released in full this summer during the UN's July General Assembly. It is expected to lead to a world vote on removing unhealthy foods from the world's dinner table.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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