Written by Moose

Thursday, 19 September 2013

image for Pope Urges Catholics to Be More Compassionate, and adds that if they aren't that "They Will Be Excommunicated, Smitten by The Almighty and Banished to Hell FOREVER!"

VATICAN CITY - Pope Francis said Catholics should not allow their views on gay marriage, abortion and contraception to dominate Catholic teachings, but must be more welcoming and not cold, dogmatic bastards.

In a dramatically blunt interview with Carlotta Cathole, the Pope said Catholics have focused on "small things, in small-minded rules". They must find a new balance between upholding rules and demonstrating mercy, "otherwise even the moral edifice of the Church is likely to fall like a house of cards..."

He added that if they don't heed his warning, "They will be excommunicated, smitten by The Almighty and banished to Hell FOREVER!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Pope, Catholic




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