NSA 'spied on Michael Jackson' says intelligence whistleblower

Written by queen mudder

Monday, 1 July 2013

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Don't come the raw prawn about Michael Jackson

Washington DC - Conclusive proof that the NSA kept singer Michael Jackson under surveillance will be published this week according to fugitive from justice Edward Snowden, a pal of renegade WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange.

"For years the NSA spied on Michael Jackson," the whistleblower's website claimed today, "ever since an unfortunate incident about sustainability of crustaceans at an unconfirmed location some 30 miles south of Cape Cod, Massachusetts."

Commenting on the allegations a spokesperson for the Nantucket Shellfish Association said that in 1993 when Jackson was holidaying on the nearby small island of Tuckernuck he became violently sick.

And proceeded to blame it on that most noble of marine delicacies the Nantucket Bay Scallop.

Several lawsuits ensued culminating in local district Judge Harvey Scallop [no relation] warning off Jackson about any more vexatious litigation or smearing of Nantucket Bay's finest fruits de mer [mother****** fruits].

Intelligence papers held by Snowden may now reveal just how many times the NSA applied for covert espionage of the famous entertainer.

"Yeah, sure, but don't hold your breath," NSA phishing expert Buddy Whales commented.

A dozen native rock oysters retails around three bucks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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