Holland Wins French Presidency

Funny story written by Simon Saunders

Sunday, 6 May 2012

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Napolean's brother Louis was King of Holland. Oh how the tables have turned.

The people of France have spoken, in French, to send a stark message to their political parties by choosing another country to rule over them.

In a remarkable turn of events, the country of Holland will assume the French presidency after defeating centre-right political shortarse Nicolas Sarkozy.

Holland's winning manifesco promised free clogs and tulips for all French households and that appears to have swung the vote their way combined with a general disenchantment with mainstream French politics.

Nicolas Sarkozy couldn't hide his disbelief in his concession speech, "Whilst I accept the result I find it amazing that such a proud nation of people could choose to be ruled by another country. It defy's common sense. I know my policies have been unpopular but I thought that having a stunning wife would distract people into not thinking about my ridiculous policies. I shall be divorcing Carla (Bruni) immediately. It's all her fault, clearly she is not beautiful enough to distract red blooded Frenchmen. Either that or there are more gay men than we thought."

Some political analysts believe that this stunning win for Holland could open the door to other countries choosing to be ruled by neighbouring nations. Already we have seen a number of German politicians express a desire to take over Hungary and Austria, purely for noble reasons this time.

However, one politician is vehemently opposed to foreign countries intruding into his country. Scottish First Minister Alex Salmond is disgusted by the outcome of the French election and reckons that the English shouldn't get any similar ideas. He said, "I've spent my entire life trying to get independence for Scotland and there is no chance we will surrender our powers back to the English. Trust the French to cave in when another country comes knocking. Italy will probably be next. Europe is risking becoming a laughing stock. Well trust me, Scotland will not be following suit."

One thing is for sure. This result will send shockwaves throughout Europe and the rest of the world.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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