Political News for W/E 11th Februrary 2012 - with comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Saturday, 11 February 2012

image for Political News for W/E 11th Februrary 2012 - with comments
Make those who can afford it pay a prescription charge to visit GPs

5th February 2012: Make those who can afford it pay a prescription charge to visit GPs
Category: NHS
Link: The People - by Nigel Nelson
We Brits are a soppy lot, ­hopelessly sentimental about young furry animals, old furry slippers and the NHS. And that's why we have the same reluctance to change our 63-year-old health service as we do our worn out footwear.

"Who then decides who can afford to pay?

7th February 2012: Cameron gives top job to self-confessed fatcat who donated almost £3million to the Tory party
Category: Political nepotism
Link: Daily Mirror: Tory Nepotism at its Crudest
David Cameron yesterday made a self-confessed fatcat with a £100million fortune co-treasurer of the Conservative Party.

Hedge fund boss Michael Farmer, who has attacked benefits for single mums, has donated almost £3million to the Tories.

Labour said it was no wonder the Prime Minister had failed to work with Ed Miliband on bonuses when his party was so dependent on cash from the City.

"Well I'm not surprised at this at all - just surprised that the opposition are not kicking-up about it - or are they the sane when they get in power? 'Course they are!"

7th February 2012: You're dying - but are you trying for a job? Fury at DWP back-to-work letters
Category: Political - NHS - Benefits
Link: Daily Mirror - Dying asked to apply for jobs
Thousands of dying people are being sent letters urging them to consider getting a job, it has been revealed. The Department for Work and Pensions writes to everyone claiming the new Employment Support Allowance suggesting that they see a personal advisor to "help you move towards work".

That includes those whose families have specifically told officials that they have less than six months left to live.

Ministers have admitted that 1,000 terminally ill people were sent the letters in just three months in a written answer to MPs. The shocking figure comes after David Cameron railroaded his brutal welfare reforms which will take cash from disabled children and cancer sufferers through Parliament.

The letters state: "You can volunteer to work with a specialist personal adviser or job broker who will support and encourage you to carry out reasonable steps to manage your illness or disability and undertake relevant activity which will help you move towards work."

"How kind they are!"

8th February 2012: Politician's fury after US firm wins contract to print Olympics tickets
Category: Political nepotism
Link: The Mirror - Why did the US get Olympic ticket contract?
Politicians said a UK firm should be responsible for what is thought to be the biggest single sports ticketing task in our history.

They will be flown from Arkansas-based firm Weldon, Williams & Lick, 4,500 miles across the Atlantic.

UKIP's Lawrence Webb said it was "a disgrace", adding: "This is a kick in the guts to British firms who would have been desperate to secure such a lucrative contract."

"I'd love to see which politicians and their families have shares in which companies - nepotism at work again here I'm sure!"

10th February 2012: Cameron: Tax breaks for hiring a cleaner could save middle class thousands
Category: Political - Economy
Link: Telegraph - Tax break for the middle class
Families could be given tax breaks for hiring cleaners and cooks to help with household chores, under a scheme to be considered by ministers.

"Well fancy that, who'd believe that every Minister in the Government has cooks and cleaners as well?" Nepotists!

10th February 2012: Deaf girl 'trafficked to UK at 10, kept as slave and raped'
Category: Crime - Cruelty - Immigration
Link: Mirror - Cruelty in the extreme
Caution Warning: The Details in The Above Link can be Upsetting
A deaf girl aged 10 was trafficked into Britain, locked in a cellar, raped and kept as a slave for nearly a decade, a court was told yesterday.

The orphaned youngster from Pakistan, who is profoundly deaf and has no speech, was locked in a cellar each night where she would sleep on a concrete floor and by day was forced to work for no money and was sexually assaulted, Minshull Street Crown Court in Manchester was told.

Her alleged abusers were Ilyas Ashar, 83, and his wife, Tallat Ashar, 66, who deny charges of false imprisonment, human trafficking, sexual offences, violence and benefit fraud.

"No comment from me needed!

11th February 2012: Nottingham City Council WPL/Trams
Category: Transport - WPL - Economy - Trams
Source: Nottingham Arrow - Council Magazine
From April 1st this year, employers within the Nottingham City Council administration boundary that provide Workplace Parking places, will need to pay the £288 per annum per space WPL (Workplace Parking Levy) charge.

Employers have been required to register and licence liable places by last October.

Some employers will not be required to pay anything, if they provide 10 or fewer parking spaces.

It is up to the employer's, if they pass on the WPL, and how much they will charge.

Without the WPL cash, the new tram extension would not go ahead.

"More good news to go along with the increased public parking fees, the price of fuel, and the bad weather!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more