Political News for W/E 4th Februrary 2012 - with comments

Funny story written by Inchcock

Saturday, 4 February 2012

image for Political News for W/E 4th Februrary 2012 - with comments
This has overtaken alcohol as the most desired present in Nottingham

29th January 2012: Four out of five criminals caught with a knife escapes jail sentence!
Category: Crime
Link: The Mirror - Knife crime in UK
The Tories' "zero tolerance" policy on knife crime is in tatters, with four out of five knife-wielding thugs ­escaping a jail term.

New figures show that of the 5,466 caught carrying a knife between July and September last year, just 1,132 were jailed, while a staggering 1,090 were given a caution - effectively a slap on the wrist.

Another 1,686 were given a ­community sentence, while others received a suspended sentence or had it deferred for "good behaviour".

Of those who were jailed, two-thirds were given a sentence of six months or less.

The revelations come as the number of robberies involving a knife soars, blowing anotherlarge hole in the Tories' "tough on crime" image.

Home Office statistics reveal a 10 per cent rise in such ­robberies, with the number of ­attacks up from 13,971 to 15,313.

And are the well protected rich nepotist Minister's in the least bit bothered?

29th January 2012: Whitehall admits fiddling jobless figures for 13 years
Category: Political
Link: The People: Government fiddling figures
In 2011 alone 373,800 people were missing from official statistics.

They were all out of work but had been transferred from Jobseekers Allowance to training programmes - meaning they were no longer ­classified as unemployed.

But the courses in subjects like CV-writing were branded "completely useless" by one Jobcentre staffer, who said: "All they do is help to reduce unemployment figures."*

*"Beggars belief doesn't it?"

30th January 2012: Cash for childcare is slashed by George Osborne!
Category: Coalition Government
Link: Daily Mirror - Millionaire Minister Osborne
George Osborne is ruthlessly slashing childcare funding despite pledging millions to help hard-up families, it was revealed last night.

A £291million boost the Chancellor announced for nursery places has been rolled into the Early Intervention Grant, which even once the extra funding is taken into account, will be cut by 7% next year.

"Well well, I'm not surprised!"

31th January 2012: Syria: battles rage in Damascus suburbs as William Hague travels to UN
Category: National Crisis
Link: The Times - Hague Flys to New York for Meeting over Damascus
The Foreign Secretary will hold key UN talks over a draft resolution demanding that President Bashar Assad step aside.
Gunfire and the boom of shelling rang out on Monday in several suburbs on Damascus' outskirts that have come under the domination of anti-regime fighters, as rights groups reported nearly 100 casualties.

"I wonder who he'll be sharing a hotel bedroom with during this visit? Will Willie have one of his own many assistants? Or will Willie have an American assistant supplied to play with his foibles in bed? - Just a thought, sorry!"

31th January 2012: As British jobless toll soars, UK bosses recruit thousands in Romania
Category: Politics - Unemployment
Link: Daily Mail - Unemployment fiasco
Earlier this month, UK unemployment hit 8.4 per cent, its highest level since 1994. But official figures show that nine out of ten jobs created in 2010 went to foreign nationals.

"The economic situation is ripening into a possible civil unrest, that will become uncontrollable - especially as we have how many thousands less police and troops now?"

1st February 2012: NHS lawyer who told doctor to cover up a death is given £100,000 after she lost her job
Category: NHS - Politics
Link: Daily Mail: NHS backhander
An NHS lawyer who asked a doctor to suppress details of how a patient died has won a payout of more than £100,000.

Kate Levy was fired from her job as head of legal services at scandal-hit Stafford Hospital after details of the cover-up were exposed.

"This sort of thing really, really pisses me off!"

4th February 2012: Chris Huhne, gambling addictions + loving libraries
Category: Nepotism... er,, I mean Politics
Link: lbc97.3 - Huhne
Today Chris Huhne's resignation as Energy Secretary marks the third departure from the coalition cabinet, after . But what will be the effect on the coalition? I talked to Isabel Oakeshott, Political Editor at Sunday Times who wrote the scoop which ultimately led to Huhne's resignation. Benedict Brogan, a seasoned Westminster watcher and Deputy Editor of the Daily Telegraph gave us his insight:

An internet gambling addict has been jailed for frittering away £400,000 from a company she worked for, meaning her boss has to retire five years later than planned to pay for it. Has gambling ever affected your life? Gambling expert Chris Brady and Anthony Jennens the Chairman of GamCare discussed the addiction and we took your calls.

"And still the Liberal Democrats are in existence! Despite joining the Tories in the Coalition, Chris Huhne, David Laws and Liam Fox, who have done their best to destroy the party? - amazing!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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