Drunken Moose Stuck in Apple Tree in Sweden, Entertains Crowds

Written by Gail Farrelly

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

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He'd rather hang in a tree than over a fireplace.

It was the fermented apples that did it, the moose claimed, but some suspected that he had been sipping the bubbly for quite some time and was simply on a bender.

Anyway, as he awaited rescue from the tree, the moose cheerfully entertained one and all with a running commentary of moose jokes (a moose, a priest, a rabbi came into a bar and .........) as well as a selection of tunes sung in a deep baritone. His rendition of "I'll Be with You in Apple Blossom Time" rivaled that of Barry Manilow. And the crowd seemed to delight in joining him as he bellowed out the drinking song, "A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall."

When a few onlookers in the crowd murmured in disgust about his drunken state, he answered back: "What's all the fuss? It's not as if I'm driving or anything."

He continued, "Next they'll be wanting me to join AA. Why don't they mind their own business?" After a short break for a few hiccoughs, the moose grumbled, "They'd rather see my head hanging over their fireplace than see me (ALL of me) just hanging out enjoying myself in a big old tree."

When the moose was finally rescued and freed from the tree, he immediately headed for the woods. His gait was unsteady and he refused to stop and talk to a book agent who wanted to sign him up to write a bestseller about his unique adventure.

Word from the woods is that the moose spent the next day gulping down aspirins and telling everyone in sight to beware of those fermented apples.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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