Mystery Blonde as elusive as ever in Niagara Falls, Canada

Funny story written by Lady Godiva

Thursday, 14 July 2011


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image for Mystery Blonde as elusive as ever in Niagara Falls, Canada
American Falls,Niagara NY not as spectacular as the Horseshoe Falls, Ontario

John Smith, of Scarborough, England, had not quite finished his dessert in the revolving restaurant atop the Skylon Tower, overlooking the Horseshoe Falls at Niagara Falls, Canada, when he saw the Mystery Blonde stand to leave her table.

He had, earlier, followed her up to the restaurant and had seated himself four tables behind her.

He quickly picked up his camera, which he had placed on the ledge and set to take a photograph every 45 seconds whilst the restaurant turned. He was sure he'd have a great collection of photographs to show his friends back home when he returned from his Canadian adventure.

John's heart was beating rapidly in his chest. He felt certain that the Mystery Blonde would actually be able to hear his heart as he quickly stood up and began to, once again, follow her at a safe distance.

Unfortunately, he did not have his camera ready when the Mystery Blonde took a quick glance over her right shoulder before she entered the ladies' washroom.

John sat down at short distance from the ladies' washroom and looked at his camera. He realized he needed to put in a new film and so, carefully wound and then removed the film from inside the camera, placing it safely inside a container and then into his brown leather camera bag, which had been a Christmas present from his 'dear old mam'. Although he would never refer to his mother in her presence using such words.

John had only just taken a new roll of film from his camera bag when the Mystery Blonde emerged like from the washroom and headed for the elevator. John panicked slighly. Trembling with excitement of what he hoped was to come, he fumbled with his camera bag accidentally tipping out the contents.

"Oh shit!" he whispered to himself as he watched some of the canisters holding rolls of film, roll across the plush carpet of the Sklyon Restaurant.

Two waiters came to his aid and scrambled to collect the canisters, some of which had rolled under a nearby table. They handed them to John who quickly returned them to the safety of his camera bag. He hastily thanked the two waiters for their assistance and looked towards the spot where he had last seen the Mystery Blonde.

He assumed she had headed for the elevator as there was no other reason to stay in the restaurant. He walked quickly, not wishing to draw undue attention to himself and headed towards the elevator.

John was close to the elevator when he saw the Mystery Blonde enter just a couple of yards ahead of him. His luck was changing at last. His heart thumped and his pulse raced. So close, he was certain he could smell her perfume.

From behind him he heard,

"Sir, sir. Stop sir!", it was one of the waiters who had helped him pick up the contents which had earlier spilled from his camera bag.

Wondering whether or not to stop or continue towards and, eventually, into the elevator, his decision was made for him when the waiter reached out and grabbed the strap of his camera bag causing John to come to an abrupt halt.

"Sir, we found two more rolls of films. They may contain some important photographs. Here they are," and he handed the two small, black canisters to John.

Much to John's dismay, when he turned back towards the elevator, it had already begun its descent. He felt deflated. He didn't know how long he could keep following the Mystery Blonde or indeed, if he would ever see her again.

He muttered a not too enthusiastic "Thank you" to the waiter then he sat down heavily onto the nearest chair and waited for the elevator to return, not knowing if there was another elevator at the other side of the restaurant, and, at this moment in time, not really caring.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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