Investigators in Florida are trying to determine why beloved celebrity doggie Pluto committed the first reported murder in Celebration, Florida; a distinctly creepy, Stepford-Wives-type knit town that was conceived and built by the Walt Disney Co.
"While most people who visits Celebration wants to commit suicide soon after arriving, this is the first homicide that we have investigated in the town," said an Osceola County Sheriff. "We've seen other major crimes, like watching non-Disney movies and such, but not to the extent of a homicide."
Matteo Giovanditto, 58, was found dead in his home in Celebration, Fla. on Monday. The 58-year-old retired teacher had reportedly not been seen since the day before Thanksgiving, but it took neighbors 6 days to report him missing, ostensibly because his name was too f--king hard to pronounce. On Monday, a concerned neighbor went into Giovanditto's condo and found him extremely stinky.
Disney star Pluto was arrested a few hours later, driving Giovanditto's 2008 Corvette. Pluto was reportedly drunk and hopped up on Scooby-snacks.
Police say that it was a confidential informant that led them to Pluto.
"Gawrskh, huh huh," said the anthropomorphic dog informant, pulling a cigarette out of his black vest. "I couldn't believe it, but I saw Pluto with a gun. Gawrshk, it was just silly."
