Paul the amazing octopus, famous for his fearless predictions at the recent FIFA World Cup, has been murdered by a gang of Dutch herring intent on exacting revenge for the mighty mollusc's prediction that the Netherlands football team would go down to the favoured Spaniards in the tournament's decider in July.
Security officials believe the herring escaped from their modern water tank while the aquarium was closed and ventured into Paul's watertank to carry out the mischievous deed. It is believed that Paul was dismembered by the fish and then cooked in a white wine sauce with shallots and a sprinkling of garlic.
In news just in, calamari stocks rose on the Stock Exchange last night following the death of Paul.
