Pittsburgh Organic Water bottling company, H2 uh-oh, sells consumers on the idea of "fresh water." Critics and scientists say this product may be too fresh.
The water is served in a clear bottle however the end product has a tannish brown color with river settlement on the bottom. Consumers are both cautious and curious about this latest fad.
CEO Brian Fartke says, "We noticed how people love the farm fresh produce, so why not do the same thing with water? And that's how we came up with the idea of river fresh drinking water."
"We scoop bottles of fresh Monogahela water and send it straight to our retail outlets. You can't get any fresher," Fartke says.
Pittsburgh has some of the most polluted rivers in all of America which has raised some concerns with health nuts and scared pussy lab geeks that think drinking water straight from a polluted river is dangerous. Studies show that the risks of consuming river water could be fatal at worst and a regrettable decision at the very least. But don't tell that to the public.
"You ain't got a hair on your ass if don't drink river water," said an excited passerby who was extremely surprised that anyone would want to get his unqualified stupid opinion. Area pubs carry the product because patrons love the euphoric high that lasts only a few seconds before nausea takes over.
Fartke and his staff aren't just about bringing a questionable product to the market, they are serious about recycling too.
"We are a green company. We don't have a manufacturing plant for the bottling process. We simply have a team of trash pickers that sift through only the best landfills and trash cans for empty water bottles. The bottles are then written on with a Sharpie indicating the flavor. Right now we only carry "Monongahela Punch" but as long as the law suits are minimal and we have no fatalities, we plan on introducing, "Mississippi Mistake" "Thames Trouble" and "Colorado Kick" We hope to have a kids product next fall which will be smaller in size. We are collecting old baby food jars for that initiative.
The great recession may have slowed down our once mighty economy, but it cannot stop the ingenuity and drive of the American entrepreneur.
Cheers.
