Latest Winkileaks revelations have exposed Hillary Clinton, former First Lady, presidential candidate and current US Secretary of State, as a devious and dangerous head of a secret intelligence agency in the US known simply as the "Clinton Unilateral National Technical Staff", (CUNTS), the irony of the acronym apparently lost on the globe trotting policy maker.
The unflattering portrait of the former First Lady likens her to Rossa Klebb, the pant suit wearing, knife wielding SMERSH agent in "From Russia with Love" one of the infamous James Bond thrillers.
According to documents dumped today around the world, Hillary was fascinated with the character of Klebb who will long be remembered for her St. Vitas dance when a poisoned knife popped out of her matronly shoe in the final show down with Bond in the action packed movie.
Hillary is said to always travel with clips of that scene, and faced with especially taxing decisions like confronting the infidelity of her husband, or facing down Obama during the 2008 Presidential debates, will watch them for hours in an attempt to get her 'game face' on.
Additional damaging information concerns Clinton's orders to members of the State Department serving around the world, to collect "DNA samples from targeted officials by ANY MEANS NECESSARY!"
Included in the suggested methods were collecting samples from soiled panties, half smoked (sic) cigars, reclaimed condoms, favorite sex toys, or used gerbils!
Hilary wanted bank pass words, cell phone numbers, credit card numbers, fingerprints, bra sizes, and even favorite porn sites visited by dignitaries State Department officials came in contact with during their normal duties, state social gatherings, or illicit liaisons regardless of sexual orientation.
The portrait of Hilary emerging is less than flattering, but in keeping with the public's perception of a woman who would put up with a philandering husband in order to maintain political power in what everyone now fully realizes is a cynical and corrupt world of global politics.
Behind the scenes insiders say Hillary has the temper of Gordon Brown, the greediness of Cherie Blair, the deviousness of a Lord Mendelson, the EU liberalism of Nick Clegg, the insipidness of Prince Charles, and the sexual ambiguity of Lindsay Lohan, although Lindsay wouldn't be caught dead in a lime green pants suit size 14, cut extra full in the arse!
With the leaks coming fast and furious, US government officials are now wondering how long Clinton can hold her job as Secretary of State which requires cooperation from leaders slammed by the secret documents being dumped in capitals around the world.
Washington Watchers say the idea floated a few months ago of Hillary moving up to Vice President, and Joe Biden becoming Secretary of State now may become a reality. Biden was quoted as saying to his wife, who likes to travel, "Hey....this is a BIG FUCKING DEAL, honey....shopping 24/7!"
Not yet released according to a Winkileaks spokesman, is the document in which Hillary calls Biden " a bigger F*****g DILDO that than FAT ARSED gas bag Al Gore who is "scamming more money than Bill!"
