Will the Real Tea Party Please Stand Up-For Itself

Funny story written by Charpa93

Thursday, 21 October 2010

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A real sticky-wicket

The original founder of the Tea Party, Karl Denninger, is on a rant about something these days. Seems his original Tea Party movement was taken over by wealthy interests, and he claims they are espousing ideals he says he's never really embraced. Claiming the new Tea Party run by Sarah Palin is more about the three Gs, Guns, Gays and God and less about the original G, Greed, Denninger has abandoned his Tea Party and formed another Group, "Not the Tea Party."

"Not the Tea Party is like having reverse Wednesdays in high school," claims Denninger. While Denninger claims he actually does think the issues of Guns, Gays and God are relevant issues, he just doesn't want his party to embrace them so openly as has been done by a few douchebags. "What I want," says Denninger, "is my party back so I can guide it as I see fit. I don't know how they did it, but now I feel like I've been pawed in the back seat of a '57 Chevy on Prom Night. What part of 'no' don't they understand?"

Denninger claims that he's even had to go so far as to appear on liberal news shows such as "The Dylan Ratigan Show" to state his case. "I mean, really, Dylan Ratigan? I must be some kind of pissed off to go to those lengths, right?" he said.

After hearing Denninger's complaints, some pundits are now wondering what his next step is, particularly when it comes to endorsing or voting for the quote enquote Tea Party candidates that Sarah Palin and her cronies have put in place to run in the Republican spots. Said Denniger, "I don't rightly know what's gonna happen. I can't stand behind some of the nut jobs they've put out there like Sharron Angle and Christine O'Donnell, but what are my alternatives? They've put me and the rest of my followers in a real sticky wicket, and we are not sure how the hell we're gonna free ourselves from it. Big money or big government? Dang that Sarah Palin."

Meanwhile, if you feel like Denninger, the only real solution may be to keep the Democrats in office until some kind of solution to this Tea Party madness is found.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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