Buckner Triplets Volunteer For Kissing Booth At Squirrel Holler County Fair

Thursday, 19 August 2010


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Mary Kaye has promised to shave for the event.

The Buckner sisters (Maybelline, Avon, and Mary Kaye) of Hog Jaw, Arkansas have volunteered to man the kissing booth at this year's Squirrel Holler County Fair. The aim of this year's booth is to raise money for a hair transplant for Rusty Lefferts.

For those who don't remember the 4th of July festivities, Rusty is the feller who burnt his eyebrows and eyelashes off when he bent over to watch Cooter Dawson and his exhibition of fart lighting. The doctor at County Hospital said that hair won't grow back over the third degree burns without an expensive transplant (they plan to get the hairy skin from Rusty's ass).

Some locals have protested allowing the Buckner Spinsters to be in the kissing booth. Wally down at the filling station said "I'd pay money for them not to kiss me. Hell, even the horse faced Clinton girl might actually be better lookin' then them three."

The ladies in the Hog Jaw Christian Women's Temperance Society, Bible Study, and Quilting Circle, however, disagree. President Harriet Wastenot said that "I don't mind putting them three there cuz it might help 'em catch a man. A blind man, maybe an ugly man or a desperate man, but it could still be a man."

"Besides, I understand when Daisy Duke was in the kissing booth last year, she was tempting the local men with a bit of tongue (for $5 extra) and rubbing her boobs up again 'em (for $20 extra). They may have broke records in the fund raiser to get Mavis Parker a new hearing aid (so she'd stop hitting ever'body with that damned antique horn thing she used), but it was the devil's own money."

"With the God Fearing Buckner sisters in there, we know that any kissing will be innocent and above reproach."

Plans are to ask each of the women to actually use mouthwash (Doc Vic says he'll teach 'em how), brush, and floss and for Avon to wear her teeth. Mary Kaye has also promised to shave her beard for this year's event.

The Squirrel Holler County Fair will take place Labor Day weekend.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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