British men over the age of sixteen are expected to openly revolt against an EU directive stipulating that in the interests of European brotherhood, they should demonstrate support for their German counterparts by wearing lederhosen for work and leisure, at least once quarterly as a sign of mutual national respect.
A similar directive, urging Germans to wear pin-stripe suits, bowler hats and to carry a rolled up umbrella - as opposed to their usual utterly tasteless safari type garb, met with similar opposition in Germany.
German cultural minister Herr Von Slapkoch was amazed by the aerated reaction to his directive and said - as he mopped his fevered brow with a pink silk handkerchief:
"I sink I need a lie down. I feel all faint und a little woozy. Take me to a darkened chamber und bind me up."
Skoob News spoke to typical British man, Jarbo the Killer in a pub, The Dog And Partridge - situated a stone's throw over some houses and the railway lines from Manchester United's Old Trafford football stadium.
"They say what!" Jarbo exclaimed. "They want us to wear lederhosen? They can fuck right off. I'm wearing lederhosen for no fucker! They look as gay as nine bob gerbils, them fuckin' Bavarians - with their bollocks all trussed up in soft leather and that. And their fuckin' leather braces. No wonder the cunts eat so much fuckin' sausage. They can fuck right off! The gay cunts."
A somewhat vehement reaction by any standards, which prompted David Cameron to say in the house that the directive was solely intended to promote international unity, and not to turn British macho men as gay as a bunch of frolicking fairies, waving streamers and wearing heavy eye make up.
The Germans weren't all that pleased either by all accounts. Herr Ludwig Von Nutzacke, from Nuremburg told us:
"Vee are not wery enamoured mit ze idea of vearing ze pin stripe suits eizer. But vee are prepared to make sacrifices in der namen of internazional togezzerness und unity. Mit der proviso zat vee can vear der fishnet stockings und suspenders, und der buttplug mit der furry ponytail up der sheisser underneath."
So far, compromise appears to be some way away.
Bloody Germans - wanting everything their way as usual.
More as we get it.
(But not in a GAY GERMAN way)