Obama tells students 'sorry, you missed the boat'

Funny story written by Moose

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

image for Obama tells students 'sorry, you missed the boat'
President Obama, on the phone with one of his homies

President Obama delivered his back to school speech at Philadelphia's Masterman School today, telling students their future is full of endless disappointment.

"Your life is over" Obama said. "And nothing - absolutely nothing - will get you what you want."

He delivered his address from the auditorium of the prestigious Philadelphia School District magnet school at 17th and Spring Garden.

About half of the student body, chosen by lottery, heard the speech in person - the rest watched the way students around the country did, by force.

The president also made mention of school violence and bullying.

"There are neighborhoods in my hometown of Chicago, where me and my homies have hurt one another," Obama said. "And the same thing has happened here in Philly."

Obama told the students that "life is precious, and part of its beauty lies in skin-color. We shouldn't be embarrassed by the things that make us different. We should be proud of them. The darker, the better..."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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