John Travolta "DID NOT Have Contract Out On Son"

Funny story written by Geissler

Tuesday, 10 November 2020

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Mr Wolfe: was the cleaner around?

A judge has ruled that Pulp Fiction star John Travolta did not have a contract-style execution carried out on his son who died after a seizure in the Bahamas in 2009.

Prosecutor Neil Braithwaite said that, although the truth may never be known about what actually happened to Jett Travolta, 16, he was "fairly sure" that the Hollywood actor played no part in his son's death.

Tarino Lightbourne, a paramedic, and his attorney Pleasant Bridgewater, stood accused of trying to extort $25m (£16m) from the actor following his son's death last year. They were believed to be in possession of information that suggested Mr Travolta had taken his role in Pulp Fiction rather too literally, and had done away with his son in the same off-handed manner that Vincent Vega had in the movie.

On Monday, however, Braithwaite said that this was not the case. Neither was Samuel L. Jackson anywhere near the Grand Bahama property on the day concerned. He added that the Travoltas wished "to put this whole thing behind them", and for "this whole sorry matter to be swept under an imaginary rug."

Asked if he was pleased with the outcome, Travolta said "I ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does. Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something. We act like they don't, but they do, and that's what's so fucking cool about them. There's a sensuous thing going on where you don't talk about it, but you know it, she knows it, fucking Marsellus knew it, and Antwone should have fucking known better. I mean, that's his fucking wife, man. He can't be expected to have a sense of humor about that shit. You know what I'm saying?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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