Steven Slater, the Jet Blue flight attendant who lost his cool, grabbed two beers, and left the airplane via the escape chute, is being hailed as a national hero today.
Witnesses of the incident gave mixed reports of the incident but most hailed Slater as a hero after a passenger hit him in the head with the overhead compartment door. One passenger remarked, "I don't know why the attendant didn't break the guy's leg with the beverage cart. The man was a complete dork. I've seen these flight attendants take all kinds of abuse and if I hadn't been in the lavatory smoking a joint at the time, I would have hit the guy myself!"
Jet Blue, bowing to media pressure, fired Slater and apologized to the passenger. At the same time as the Jet Blue announcement, a crowd of approximately one hundred New Yorkers demonstrated outside of the jail, chanting, "Slater, Slater, he's our man! If he can't say fuck off, the rest of us can!"
Supporters of Slater are planning a ticker tape parade for him down Broadway next Tuesday, after which Mayor Bloomberg will present him with the keys to the city and a gold-plated beverage cart.
In other news, members of the flight attendants union will honor Slater by wearing lapel pins for the next month on all of their flights. The pins read, "Coffee, Tea, or a Fat Lip?"
