Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today issued an emergency quilt safety recall, after it was discovered the quilt presented to Susan by the loonies has a dangerous level of 'banned and damned' names sewn into it.
The quilt, which took over 6 months of petty arguing to produce, was presented to Susan in New York last year by a select group of loonies, although the loonies deny this after childish scuffles at the event led to a number of arrests by the 'good taste and decency police'.
"We've decided to recall the quilt and make emergency alterations, after discovering a dangerous level of banned and damned names sewn into it," said a chief fanatic. "These were people we once liked, but we've since decided they're the devil. These names are likely to cause Susan serious distress, even though she's never heard of these people, so we've decided to recall it as a matter of urgency."
The quilt is to be collected in person by 'the invisible woman' who seems to have nothing better to do, despite having at least three jobs.
"The quilt will be collected and taken back to our secret headquarters, where we will unpick the offending names," confirmed the fanatic. "They will be replaced with yet more bible quotes. The quilt will then be flown back to the United States, where it will be re-blessed and sprinkled with holy water to clean any trace of those awful people's names."
"Oh, they want that thing back!" grumbled SuBo. "I'll have to find the thing first. I think I last used it to clean the kitchen floor!"
