Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

image for Homopterans Tell Homo Sapiens To "Suck Off"
Suck This!

Homopterans have had it! This classification of insects includes the cicada, notorious for openly sucking the vital juices out of plants while producing a high-pitched drone with its drum like organs, has flown under the radar until just recently.

According to the "don't ask, don't tell" regulations, they are in direct confrontation with the law governing sexual relations between practicing homopterans, both male and female. Largely because of the notoriety connected with the act of sucking, Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, has come out against them.

As in all relationships, there is the sucker and the suckee. The sucker, in this case, the homopteran, can literally denude your suckee landscape plan in a matter of hours, leaving your plants standing like spindling phallic symbols.

If not enough, while sucking their brains out, the piercing drone they produce will drive you crazy. And frankly, they don't give a damn. They must be stopped if our nation is to survive.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Humans, Paleontology

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