Earth Rejects Humans

Written by carina-eta

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Hey!

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Earth Rejects Humans
Would you Adam and Eve it?

Forget global warming and ice age Winters. According to new scientific thinking the Earth is actually rejecting human life.

Following massive global disasters such as hurricanes, tsunamis, floods and landslides affecting every corner of the globe and killing millions, scientists are now thinking the unthinkable. The Earth doesn't actually like us very much.

In the distant past mankind placated the planet with tribal dances and human sacrifice. In more recent times we have tried to cut down on emissions and planted a few trees, but to no avail.

A top scientist has today come forward with secret evidence that the Earth is actually rejecting human life. This includes a rainforest which from space shapes out the letters "U SUCK", a new volcanic island shaped like a thumbs down sign and 400 calves born with a downturned smiley face shape on their backs in the last month alone.

A spokesman commented,"Incidents of Gods face appearing in everyday objects have practically ceased, but we are getting hundreds of reports a day of anti-human messages appearing, just the day I cut open an apple and it had "fuck you" written inside."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics



Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more