Writers Profile

Screen Name: Morgan Truce

Morgan Truce has published 220 items on The Spoof.

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Latest Spoof News Story: Saturday 10th November 2007

Elizabeth Kucinich Ahead of Husband in Democratic Race

Spoofing since: Saturday 31st January 2004

Profile: <div align=center>This is a picture of me that was taken when
I was made Employee of the Month.</div>

Here's a short illustrated biographical sketch all about me. There are lots of old pictures, so be sure to give them enough time to develop in the hypo...

I was born in Buffalo, New York many, many years ago. My mother was a very even keeled person -- not given to much outward showing of affection. My mother was a very strict disciplinarian, with a wooden yardstick always at the ready. She didn't paddle me often, but when she did, it left big welts on my back side.

Mother wore the same black dress and hat all the time -- which later caused many of my classmates to tease me. Their mothers all wore brightly colored dresses and worked only late at night on the streets of Buffalo.

My mother raised me all by herself. Although I never knew my father, she told me that he was a very important man that she worked for some years back. I always wondered who he might be...

I went to school in a one room school house. The teacher brought in a bucket of coal every day, but some days it got so cold in Buffalo, that we nearly froze in our seats.

That's me in the front row (of course) sitting up very straight just like mother taught me.

In high school I was a member of the marching band. I loved to play the bass drum... and still do! I was also the only girl in the print shop. I didn't mind getting ink on me once in a while.

After I graduated from high school, I attended the Florence Dooley Academy of Typing & Stenography.

I learned to type very fast and also took good dictation from Mr. Dooley. I had my first real crush on him. One time after class I let him put his hand... Oh! I promised him I wouldn't tell anyone about that!

A few of my classmates at the Florence Dooley Academy of Typing & Stenography went on to work in a completely new industy called "computers".

Computers were not for me; I was destined to become a typist.

Right after typing school, I got my first job. Well, it's been the only job I've ever had! Monday through Friday I type 80 words per minute on my trusty old Remington #7 in the typing pool at the Moxie Soda Pop Company.

I've worked for Moxie for 38 years. The job has great benefits and, of course, you get all the free Moxie you can drink. They even let us take home a 6-pack every Friday afternoon! I love the taste of Moxie, don't you?

After work I always take a long walk around town before going home. I like to see everyone's gardens and wave to all the people sitting on their porches.

My house is the small one on Dewey Lane:

It used to be my mother's house, but I'm the only one living there now. It's a bit cramped for me because I like to collect things and then there are all my manuscripts that are piled up too. Some day I'll have to sort all those things.

In the evenings I usually work on writing a Spoof article, and then I check into the Spoof Forum to see what all my favorite avatar-friends are up to. Then I read a few new Spoof stories. Hopefully there's a new one by my favorite author. I read that one and then go take my bath.

I certainly do like my bubble baths!

I bet you're beginning to think that my life is very boring. Well, the truth is that my life USED to be very exciting. Back then I was very involved with the love of my life: the very handsome Art Nouveau.

We used to be quite the item... used to---until that hussy Maria Simpson stole him away from me. What a story that was!

Oh, I do have some exciting news! I've been planning to take a vacation for a while. I'd like to drive down Mexico and stay with my old friend Irma who used to work for Moxie. The two of us used to take ballet lessons in the city on Thursday afternoons.

That's me on the right. I still have nice legs!

Irma now works at putting the caps on all the bottles of Corona beer. She invited me to her house in the desert and I'm going to make the trip just as soon as I fix up my mother's old car that's been sitting in the garage for the past 27 years. I was just looking it over last week and discovered an old Bishop's hat and box of Trojans in the back seat. I'm sure my mother would have remembered how those things got there.

Isn't it a swell looking car? I can hardly wait to learn how to drive it. I guess I'd better take it to one of those driving schools I've seen advertised in the Yellow Pages.... but if one of you mechanically inclined gentlemen want to come over and fix up the car and teach me to drive it, I would like that very much.

Well, there you have it folks. Please come back another time and maybe I'll have some more fascinating details to share with you. Now I must get back to my typewriter... I'm writing a new story about a girl who plays tennis.