John Bolton Seeks New Covenant With United Nations

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 3 August 2005

image for John Bolton Seeks New Covenant With United Nations
Bolton reaches New Covenant with the UN and God

UNITED NATIONS, NYC (UPI)-The new US Ambassador John Bolton arrived at the United Nations in New York City on Wednesday wearing robes, a long beard, and apparently in a biblical frame of mind. He promptly summoned Kofi Annan to ascend to the top the General Assembly Building to receive instructions from Him and to make a New Covenant with God and the United States, and to receive the Law of Bolton.

"I am answering God's call to ascend the mountain," Bolton told reporters amidst a background of darkening clouds, thunder and lightning. "The Old Covenant is no more, and a New Covenant is required if the UN would agree to obey His laws. I have talked to Him and He has agreed to establish the United States as the greatest nation among all nations of the Earth."

He continued, "Our purpose is now to have the Great Bush be both Ruler and King of this national theocracy, to also rule over the United Nations, which will in turn be ruled by God, apart from any kind of humanly-devised government. There are henceforth to be no elections, parliaments or Congress, and no leaders apart from the Great Bush whom God would directly appoint."

After Bolton departed from his meeting with Annan and God, he then gathered the Republican Elders and presented the terms of the New Covenant, which they accepted. Bolton then relayed this to God, and God told him to have the people wash their clothes and prepare to come before Him on the third day.

The moment of truth had come. The agreement-God's covenant with Bolton, Bush and the UN-was about to be struck, if the people agreed to God's terms. Bolton answered, "And all the people have agreed together, and said, All that the Lord has spoken we will do." It was Bolton's responsibility to take the people's decision back to God, thus Bolton returned the words of the people unto the Lord.

As thick dark clouds enveloped the top of the UN, intense lightning flashed and roaring thunder echoed with great power and glory between the skyscrapers of Manhattan. The island was filled with jolting and awesome sights and sounds.

Bolton then announced the New Commandments-the core of the New Covenant with the UN, the new Law of Bolton, that He would make with God.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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