Her Pants Suit In an Uproar, Hillary Drops a Load On Martha Stewart After Learning of Intimate Dinner with Bill Featuring Brandy & Cigars!

Written by Morse

Sunday, 11 April 2010


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Bill's Hot, and Martha is Smokin' while Hillary Fumes Over Swirling Sex Rumours

There's been an uproar in Chappaqua, NY, after the recent revelation that former President Bill Clinton has been entertaining "Cooking in the Kitchen" diva and convicted insider trading perp Stewart in the family home whilst Hillary has been 'on the road.'

One time close and rabid Clinton supporter, Martha had been estranged from the Clintons after her conviction and 5 month incarceration when Hillary deemed any association with the man hungry divorcee wasn't "good for business."

Apparently that relationship, at least with "Billy" , as Stewart addresses him in her Twitters, is now on again, and is reportedly heating up. The pair have been seen connodling in several NY intimate pubs culminating, according to reports, in a catered candle light dinner at the Clinton's home in Chappaqua, all while Hillary has been abroad alienating the last of America's allies under the present regime's "Obamsky Doctrine", likened to the Woodrow Wilson Isolation Campaign after WWI.

A recent tell all book from a former close confidant of Stewart has revealed the shocking pains she will take to stalk intended lovers, real or imagined, as long as they have 'lots of money' and are willing to let her take the lead in bed.

In the book Ms. Stewart is said to be 'man crazy' with the 'uncontrolled urges' of an adolescent teenager with a hormone imbalance when it comes to sex.

An observer of the Bill Clinton Cougar Phenomena said there are some similarities between the two women. Both are now blonde, both are bossy and demanding, neither is easily embarrassed, and they both wear the same size 18 pant suit, although Ms. Stewart has the good graces to be clad in a tent sized top disguising her rather broad beamed and ample arse cheeks.

A table server at the recent home rendezvous, said the pair appeared enchanted with each other over the candlelight dinner which featured ample champaign, and romantic back round music featuring the Oakridge Boys, Johnny Cash, and Kinky Friedman. Our source claimed Bill kept dropping his napkin under the table, and Martha broke out in 'night sweats' each time he retrieved it.

Soon after the dessert dishes were cleared all staff were dismissed for the night while the infatuated couple adjourned to the library for 'Brandy and Cigars' according to the staff who said they heard Bill suggest he was going to change into 'my smoking jacket', while Martha, giggling, said this was the first time since her teenage years she had 'smoked a joint.'

According to an aide to Mrs. Clinton, she has now changed all the locks in the house, removed her wedding rings, and in a rare emotional moment was seen visiting the grave of long time confidant Vince Foster.

When last seen, Mr. Clinton was busy carving yet another notch in his custom Cigar Humidor, a gift from his good friend, Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the ruler of Dubai, who is said to be up to his arse in sand since his man made empire is now being reclaimed by the sea as more evidence of Global Warming Retribution.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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