LONDON - (Satire News) -The United Kingdom Cigar Guild has revealed that the biggest British cigar smoker of all time was World War II Prime Minister Sir Winston Leonard Spencer McCoy Churchill. At the height of the war Sir Winston was smoking 19,…
An insider from the Hillary Clinton Presidency campaign has claimed that the first thing Hillary plans to do on winning the oval office is to have sex with a campaign aid on the desk and then stuff a cigar up his bottom. Democrat sources were quic...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - After consulting with several doctors who treat smokers, the US government has issued a warning regarding cigars. The warning actually is addressed to those men and in some rare instances women, who smoke those 12-inch cigars su...
NEW YORK CITY - Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh is reportedly upset at a recent story he read in a supermarket tabloid. Limbaugh stated that as he was standing in the checkout line at a local grocery store he happened to notice the...
MSNBC's version of Fox News' typical blonde bombshell reporters, Andrea Mitchell pretends to be the network's chief foreign affairs correspondent, reporting upon the sexual infidelities of foreign heads of state. She also hosts Andrea Mitchell Reports, on which she repeats gossip concerning the adulterous pursuits of U. S. politicians, unless they are members of the Democratic Party. To show th...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has just informed the White House press corps that he has received a certified letter from Cuban President Raul Castro asking him to allow Cuba to become America's 51st state. The letter outlined some of the bene...
HAVANA, Cuba - A lot of U.S. politicians are not happy with the trip that Beyonce and her hip hop husband Jay-Z took to Cuba. They noted that former Cuban president Fidel Castro is still considered to be one of the most hated leaders of the entire...
VAN NUYS, California - The nation's most infamous White House intern, Monica Lewinsky, was spotted in Van Nuys getting a pedicure at The Fernando of The San Fernando Valley Pedicure Salon. As she was leaving the salon she was approached by Tequila...
POLITICAL FACEBOOK Glenn Beck: Hey Rush, how the hell are you holding up you big mouth scumbag? 9:03 a.m. Rush Limbaugh: Oh, I guess I'm okay Glenn, considering that so far I have lost 11 of my radio talk show sponsors. 9:07 a.m. Glenn Beck: I know the feeling fat boy believe me. I lost every single one of my sponsors and as you know shortly after that I lost my job and now I'm getting...
A national newspaper has created a furore by offering a free cigar for all readers. The Express Daily celebrated it's 'Churchill week' by declaring 'now you can look like the great man with the cut out and keep bald head plus free cigar'. Steve...
NEW YORK CITY - There is probably no male in America who is more associated with cigars that Rush Limbaugh. The GOP talk show mouthpiece can usually be seen with a big 12-incher hanging from his mouth. Limbaugh scoffs at those political pundits wh...
United airlines may have found a loophole in their flight policy to and from Cuba, and faking the smell of an "unfamiliar odor" gave the airline the two thumbs up to land in Cuba. Although United does not normally fly into Cuba, the pilot on boar...
NEW YORK CITY - Just when everyone had just about forgotten all about the blue dress, the cigar, the pizza, and the phrase exactly what the definition of is, is, out of the blue (dress?) comes (NPI) the one and only, the slightly chunky, girl of the...
There's been an uproar in Chappaqua, NY, after the recent revelation that former President Bill Clinton has been entertaining "Cooking in the Kitchen" diva and convicted insider trading perp Stewart in the family home whilst Hillary has been 'on the...
Two cash crops normally outlawed in the United States will be combined to produce a new hybrid cigar called the "Cuban Fatty". While the U.S. has outlawed certain agricultural product imports from the countries of Cuba and Columbia, Cuba has no...
In the wake of Hilary Clinton's unsuccessful attempt for the presidential candidacy, husband Bill has agreed to promote and advocate the once popular cigar. The former president is unconcerned by his spurious connection with the stogey (re the Mo...
The big news from within the corridors of power is that the Premier, Mr Gordon Brown has admitted to being a huge fan of none other than Topcat George Galloway himself.
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