Written by Cuff

Sunday, 28 March 2010

image for Colin Powell Leads Amazing Coup. Washington DC Surrenders!
Bring back Jack Bauer or else!

What is being acclaimed as the most daring and overdue activity in the history of the world Colin Powell, the most respected and treasured African American with proof led an invasion of Washington DC.

The shock and awe was incredibly easy and not a drop of blood shed. Details of the coup are still being revealed but the apparent motive stems from the cancellation of the popular television show '24' and his house being foreclosed even though he had already paid it off.

"That was the icing on the devils food cake." Powell confirmed at the capitol building. "While Obama and his evil horde have been dicking around with Health Care Reform honest hardworking shmoes like me are getting kicked to the curb. This M.E.R.S nonsense the banks came up with affects every American and the greedy bankers and investment communities are the core reason for the economic meltdown. I take no sides in this nonsense.

"The Republicans had their chance to stop the derivative cancer and they screwed it up but my biggest gripe is that the Democratic Congress, in power since 2007, saw this turd bomb coming and just do not give a chit. Holy crud am I pissed right now."

Mr. Powell paused long enough to bitch slap a shackled Barney Frank who was the idiot that championed the bank bailout as chairman of the industry's 'oversight' committee proving the point that throwing money at a problem can some times get your ass kicked.

"This coup is a temporary measure and elections will be held in one month. I am removing every single member of the House and Senate, the Supreme Court as well as the Executive branch. In the interim we will not run the country through Washington and expect to save the taxpayers in that period alone just under a trillion Dollars."

The coup's timing was impeccable and more amazing was that no military personnel were used. Via a twitter and text network coded 'cherry pick' every unemployed person with either a gun or a bible was urged to visit the nation's capitol during 'Earth Hour' and pose as tourists innocently sniffing the early blossom.

As we all know Earth Hour is another moronic Global Warming diversion Al Gore came up with to keep the news whore turning his tricks. When the appointed hour arrived all the lights went out and by the time they turned them back on the coup was over.

The mandatory arrest and expulsion of all lawyers in DC marked the first time since 1774 that real Americans dominated the capitol in not only population but popularity. Approval ratings for both Congress and the President soared in reaction to the news.

The aforementioned bloodsuckers, including the former regime, were stuffed into 'Cash for Clunkers' SUV trade-ins and transported to various migrant farm camps to work off their sentence. Each member of the former regime will be required to pick veggies, fruit, nuts and squeeze cow udders with the same enthusiasm they have drained the American people. Their penance doing a real job will be equal to the length of time they pretended to serve US.

Having so much more material to milk this satire Mr. Powell will address the nation tomorrow and explain the specifics of the upcoming constitutional amendment which promises to be so far fetched and impossible that it is sure to work.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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