Paranoid Americans called "Preppers" waiting for an impending disaster open supermarkets in their cellars!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Friday, 26 March 2010

image for Paranoid Americans called "Preppers" waiting for an impending disaster open supermarkets in their cellars!
Paranoid "Preppers" in the US are well prepared for an Armageddon, "let the comet come" they say!

The "Prepper" movement in the US is rapidly growing as many Americans see the rebirth of their new "Black Messiah" a sign of an impending disaster.

"If 'GOD' allowed a Black President than there must be still worst too come," they say.

Many "Preppers" are right of the political spectrum and feel that the US is about to be hit by a comet, nuked by North Korea or Iran or attacked by H.G. Wells Aliens.

"Preppers" have bought so much survival stock their cellars are bursting and now they've opened up a Supermarket chain called "Basementmart"

Paranoid Chuck Izzo a fanatical "Prepper" gave the following interview to one of Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) reporters, Daddy Bloodsucking-Armageddon, whilst visiting his cellar (that's what cockroaches do normally!)

"They're coming, I've seen them, they've even landed on my roof, that comet passed pretty near last year and that fucking tsunami from the Canary islands is bound to hit us soon!"

"I've got my cellar full and I'm doing some good business with other 'Preppers' so were ready, fucking cockroaches!"

CIA reporter Daddy B, just managed to slip out through a mouse hole before Paranoid Chuck stamped on him!

The "Preppers" are doing a booming business and now even Walmart has decided to open up a new chain of underground supermarkets just in case that comet does get too fucking near!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more