Padmits She's a Moron; Crowds Cheer

Former US Vice Presidential candidate and dysfunctional red neck family mom sarah Palin has officially declared herself a moron. Palin announced her moron status to a cheering crowd of thousands of very white, well armed, stupid people at a Tea Party rally held at a hockey rink in an undisclosed city somewhere in the middle of the United States."It's time we take our country away from those hopey, changey, smarty, blacky, socialisty liberals and move us backward into the future", she said to the unruly mass of hatefilled malcontents and misinformed sociopaths that make up her fan base. "We don't need an intelligent, well spoken constitutional scholar in the White House", she continued, "We need a really cute, sexy moron for commander in chief who will put illegal aliens in concentration camps, destroy abortion clinics and drop the bomb on New York City and I'm the gal for the job." The insanr mob went wild and screamed "Run moron run" as Palin wrote notes with a Sharpie all over her body. After the speech she and husband Todd were givin T shirts that read "Precadant" and "Furst Guy". They then went to nutty millionaire TV talk show host Glen Beck's private chapel/bunker where they ate some endangered creature burgers and worshipped nude before a statue of Ayn Rand.