US Defense Secretary: Gays Should Die

Funny story written by NickFun

Saturday, 6 February 2010

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Currently it's hard to tell the gay soldiers from the straight. That will change under the new policy.

Now that the United States military is rescinding the "don't ask, don't tell" policy implemented by former President Clinton, hundreds of thousands of soldiers are stepping forward and admitting they are gay.

During a recent visit to an army base, a reporter heard one male soldier telling another, "God, those boots make you look soooo butch". To which the other soldier replied, "yes, but I think these khakis make me look fat".

Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told the Senate Armed Services Committee that nearly half the armed forces are gay. This stands in sharp contrast to the era when gays were not allowed to serve at all before 1993. In order to avoid combat and military service, some young men once resisted the draft explaining they were gay. The new policy does not discriminate and insists that everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, must die or kill.

Some Iraqi commanders have been requesting matching drapes and linens for the troops. "These tents always look so ghastly!" one commander commented. Also, one Afghani platoon was heard singing Broadway show tunes. Another was seen doing the Macarena as part of their morning exercises.

Secretary of Defensed Robert Gates said, "It's OK. They'll all be dead soon enough".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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