The recent approval by Hawaiian legislators clearing the way for same sex marriages, also removed the last obstacle keeping government officials from releasing a true copy of President Barry Obama's birth certificate.
President Obama, sensitive to the privacy of his family history, reportedly has spent over $950,000 in Democratic Campaign Funds on legal assistance to block access to any written confirmation to his existence as a US Citizen, scholar, or profound writer of note when he was allegedly head of the Harvard Law Review.
The 'Hawaiian Connection', as it is now being called in media reports, shows on the Hawaii hard copy of Barry's Birth Certificate, that he indeed was born in Hawaii, but was the product of a union between two (2) mudders!
The blanks for 'mother' and 'father', both show female respondents!
Rather than putting the question of the Presidents origin to rest, the disclosure has raised a new firestorm of inquiry, not because of the fact he had two mothers, but questioning the origin of the sperm that provided half his generic makeup.
DNA taken from the sweat analyzed from the President's head band after a basketball game, and confirmed by a handful of discarded Camel cigarettes, (no pun intended), prove without a doubt that half his genes probably entered the country illegally, most likely in a plain brown wrapper and labeled 'Medical Experiment' in order to circumvent the Islands' tough import restrictions against agricultural products such as fruits, legumes and fiddle heads.
Hard legal, moral and constitutional questions now loom regarding the legitimacy of the Presidents election.
Is he indeed an American Citizen if his natural father was not present in the States when conception occurred?
Does the simple fact that the sperm arrived on US soil confirm that from the moment it crossed the border it was granted full rights and citizenship?
Considering the President's recent reckless behaviour concerning his head long rush to cripple the US economy, destroy it's judicial system, and lessen it's Security Awareness indicate that some of the protein was left in the test tube and he is 8% short of a full wad?
With only 3 years left on his term as President, and re election now far from a 'sure thing' (Hillary Lurks), the question may never be properly answered, but for the medical profession, including the Dr. who assisted the 'Octo Mom' to secure her financial 'nest eggs', the answer is clear.
Confirming their findings, Doctors published a recent amendment to the accepted artificial insemination methods employed by clinics world wide: DON'T FORGET TO SCRAPE THE BOTTOM OF THE TUBE, part of the new UN mandate, that 'no part of any child should be left behind!'