First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive Opening Soon

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 3 January 2010

image for First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive Opening Soon
No Hookers: Account holders will also have complimentary legal, medical and travel insurance as standard.

Beverly Hills - (Upstream Gal!): The reclusive billionaire couple who own 85% of Chevron Corp and 72% of ExxonMobil are relocating their sovereign hydrocarbons fund to a new Rodeo Drive shopfront.

First BigOil&Gas Bank of Rodeo Drive will be capitalised at one trillion dollars and will offer domestic and international retail and corporate banking to the well heeled.

Opening balances of $50 million are the mininum requirement for First BigOil&Gas accounts which guarantee a five million dollar overdraft facility on debit and credit cards spending.

The bank's headquarters will be located near the Beverly Hills Hotel end of Rodeo Drive with branches opening in the Beverly Wilshire as well as the nearby Bel Air Hotel (mid-2011).

Subsidiaries are scheduled to open for business in late 2010 in Manhattan, NY, West Palm Beach, Fla and Du Pont Circle, Washington DC.

Among the perks of a First BigOil&Gas account are free city-centre helipad parking in over 5,000 worldwide locations.

Account holders will also have complimentary legal, medical and travel insurance as standard.

And an annual competition to find the biggest Rodeo Drive spender using his/her First BigOil&Gas platinum credit card will see the top prize of a guaranteed $1 million, tax free, plus 'heir' miles.

Doors open for business on St Valentine's Day.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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