Entire Town Listed as "Slow Children At Play" Zone.

Written by Adam Click

Thursday, 21 January 2010

image for Entire Town Listed as "Slow Children At Play" Zone.
The slow children of Hamelin, Indiana react to a teacher's demand that they stop hitting themselves.

The population of Hamelin, Indiana was falling faster than the autumn leaves thanks to the idiocy of it's children. That was until the town council declared the whole town a "Slow Children At Play" zone.

Normally reserved for quiet streets in residential neighborhoods, this is the first time such a designation has been made for an entire town in the United States.

Speed limits through-out the village are 20 MPH. Drivers are constantly reminded to watch for children darting out between cars, and it's not unusual to see teenagers being taken by the hand by a caring adult when attempting to cross the street.

"I'd like to say that we raise exceptional children here," Mayor James Hopkins said, as his twelve-year-old son, Arvin, ran head-long into a brick wall for no apparent reason, "but the fact of the matter is, they're just plain slow!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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