INTERNATIONAL FALLS, Minnesota - Talk show host and radio personality Glenn Beck was the grand marshal of The 99th Annual International Falls Ice Fishing Festival and Festive Fish Stick Parade.
Beck asked the parade director Ryan Bub Drumguish what the temperature was and Drumguish informed him that it was 17 below zero.
Glenn let out a scream that one would expect to come out of Miley Cyrus or one of the Olsen twins and remarked that no wonder one of his tonsils had actually cracked.
Drumguish borrowed a flashlight and looked inside Beck's mouth. He confirmed that he could positively see that there was definitely a crack on his right tonsil.
Beck was asked if he had decided to ease up on his extremely harsh criticism of President Obama. He laughed and said that he will not be intimated by anyone, and that includes the FBI, the CIA, the IRA, the KKK, the NBA, or the IUD.
The GOP mouthpiece was asked what he thought about "Golf Gate." He smiled and said that he is amazed at how one skinny little black fella could get so many great looking white women.
When told money. He said but of course. He then revealed that he had received an email from the White House reprimanding him for saying that Tiger Woods and President Obama look like brothers.
He replied that he was only making an observation.
The White House Chief Secret Service Agent Laramie Cobalt informed him that if he persists with his observations, he will most likely end up being arrested and he will be making his observations from behind some cold iron bars standing next to a whole lot of fellas who look kinda like "Brobama" and "PutterBoy," except only much, much bigger, and much, much not-as-nice! (sic).
Appearing in tomorrow's column. A Candid Look At The Lesbian Crickets of The Amazon Rain Forest.
