Tiger's infertility enrages Uchitel

Written by Helen Tarnation

Saturday, 19 December 2009


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Uchitel: 'Tiger never used one of these, but it turns out he didn't need one. But now I have a strange itching problem.

In a secret interview, Rachel Uchitel, the #1 mistress in the lineup of 'Tiger Babes', has confessed that she is angry with Tiger.

'We worked so hard to have a love child', Rachel said. 'Learning that he has been shooting blanks the whole time is devastating.'

Elin Nordegren, the wife of Tiger Woods, has admitted that her two children were not fathered by Tiger.

She attributed her pregnancies to an anonymous 'pool boy', but since the, two more men have stepped forward to claim fatherhood of the children.

'I so badly wanted to have Tiger's babies', Uchitel said. 'They could have grown up to be golf stars, or porn stars, and take care of me in my old age. Now I'll have to see if I can seduce Bill Gates, or Warren Buffet. This line of work is hard, really hard.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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