Controversy erupts over Nordegren children - plumber, mailman claim paternity

Written by Helen Tarnation

Friday, 18 December 2009


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Nordegren's children: unaware that 'Who's your daddy?' has special significance for them

After Elin Nordegren's tearful confession that Tiger Woods is not the father of her children, and identified 'the pool boy' as their father, two other men stepped forward to claim paternity.

Nordegren married Woods in 2004, and later gave birth to two children, the first after a remarkable three years of marriage, and the second earlier this year.

This led to speculation that Woods was infertile, which now seems to be borne out by the facts.

Yet the issue of paternity doesn't appear settled, as a plumber and mailman have stepped forward, each claiming to be the father of the two children.

Morris Moriarty, 48, handled all the plumbing issues for the Woods' multimillion-dollar mansion.

'I kept the lady of the house happy', said Moriarty. 'Good customer relations is important -- and in Elin's case, I guess I was a bit more energetic in that category than usual. But heck, she's a stunner.'

'And now that Tiger's going out of the picture', he adds, 'I want my rights as a father respected.'

However, the mailman contradicts Moriarty's claim.

Norman Nickerson, 52, claims that he always took care to 'render extra service' in his delivery of mail to the Woods' household.

'Initially I'd always bring the mail into the house and place it on the end table in the foyer', he said. 'And sometimes, I'd bring it further in. Eventually, I came to deliver it to Elin's bedroom -- and deliver a bit more besides, if you know what I mean.'

With all of the furore surrounding the Tiger Woods saga, this is bound to equal the media circus which erupted over Anna Nicole Smith and the paternity of her child.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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