Written by Manic Velocity

Tuesday, 7 September 2004

image for Protester waives right to free speech

New York City, NY-- In a strange twist today, a political protester waived his right to freedom of speech during an organized march through Times Square. The march was held in an effort to raise awareness of the number of registered voters who are working to remove President Bush from the White House in November.

"The injustices that have weighed upon this country are unspeakable." said Bernie Fresh, or "B-Fresh" as he is known among his constituants. "Today, I am refusing my right to express myself freely, in protest to the joke that President Bush has made this nation out to be."

The march was organized by a political activist group known as P.F.P. or "People For Protesting". Diana Hunter, spokeswoman for P.F.P. said this regarding B-Fresh: "I think it's great what he's doing. Our right to free speech has already been stripped away by this administration. We run a great risk by even being out here today. At any moment we could be arrested and trucked off to jail. What Mr. Fresh is doing is playing it safe. Sort of a new form of silent protest. If he doesn't speak out against the government, then they can't charge him with anything."

B-Fresh is a full-time student. He is majoring in environmental studies at the California Institute of Technology. He plans to some day make a career out of river rafting.

"Ghandi ain't got nothin' on me." he said when asked about his revolutionary protesting technique.

Mahatma Ghandi devoted his life to promoting a strong philosophy of non-violence. Ghandi invented new forms of political protest such as staging hunger strikes, and silent-protest. These techniques were perfected by Martin Luther King Jr., who fought to end racism and biggotry in America.

"It's not really all that hard to do. I'm simply denying myself my god-given right to free speech. I'm not displaying any banners, I'm not holding any signs, I'm not shouting any cute rhyming slogans about how much I don't like Bush. I'm just here to march among my fellow protesters, and not voice my opinions." said B-Fresh while standing on a podium and speaking through a bullhorn.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
63 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more