"Normally I don't recommend the occult, or revenge for that matter, to my patients. Much less write out a prescription to them for it," said Dr. Phil. "But in this case, I'm willing to make an exception."
Dr. Phil then directed his studio audience's attention to the Voodoo dolls woven of primitive hand dyed brightly colored cloth, fashioned in the crude image of Phillip Garrido accompanied with a sealed sterilized packet of needles and pins that he placed under their seats.
"Go on and look," said Dr. Phil. "You'll find it under your chair. Right alongside my patent pending mentholated scented torches for the villagers to storm the castle, but don't touch those. Not yet. They're for later."
Dr. Phil then introduced a certified Witch Doctor from West Africa to the studio audience to help instruct how to properly use their Voodoo dolls.
"Everybody," said Dr. Phil introducing the Witch Doctor. "I'd like to take this opportunity to introduce a colleague of mine."
With that introduction, Doctor Mojo of West Africa walked onto the stage dressed in the customary ceremonial gown, white line Zulu like makeup painted on his face and ivory bone piercing through his nose.
"Okay. Don't be shy, now," said Dr. Phil. "You really got to jab those pins in there. Or else your just performing acupuncture when the whole purpose of this exercise is to inflect pain not pleasure. Isn't that right Doctor Mojo?"
As Doctor Mojo walked among the studio audience to render advice and assistance, he quickly noticed that none of the Voodoo dolls were working.
"Doctor Mojo!" cried out Dr. Phil. "Why are you running off?"
"Garrido's magic…it is too powerful for Mojo's magic," said Doctor Mojo as he ran out of the studio without turning back.
"Well there you have it," said Dr. Phil trying to stall for time. "Tomorrow I'll try - I mean my invited guest will be a Catholic priest from Mexico, who specializes in exorcism."
