"Because she was named after the Lord, that's why!"

Funny story written by queen mudder

Tuesday, 8 September 2009


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for "Because she was named after the Lord, that's why!"
Sons of God and Daughters of Men and all that malarkey....

Antioch - (Reuterus): Perverted monster Philip Garrido has confided in prison shrinks that supernatural voices told him Jaycee Dugard 'was named after Jesus Christ' - a sure sign she must bear his seed and perpetuate the sacred lineage.

J.C. - or Allissa as she became known in her captor's home - may have subsequently developed Our Lady of Stockholm Syndrome, outwardly accepting that cosmic farces were shaping her destiny, much like Natasha Kampusch.

Starlite and Angel, the daughters she bore, were destined for celestial initiation at some future, unspecified date Garrido noted.

Prison Chaplain the Rev Snakes Rapture said today the Kingdom of Heaven took in all sorts "and that includes Satan's sidekicks like Garrido."

Nancy Garrido is pleading The Fifth.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more