A searing report from mid-America shows local mothers, wringing their hands and sobbing quietly as the possibility that the purity of their children will be irreparably damaged by being forced to listen to an address by the President.
Fearing the brain-washing that this address will surely begin, mothers across the nation are bravely speaking out against any exhortations to their children to stay in school, respect their teachers, and finish their homework on time.
"Clearly," a spokeswoman for the group exclaimed, "This is the first step in brainwashing. A child's success in school is something that is the business of the parents, not left-leaning radical politicians. So what if parents have failed? So what if a drop-out's possibilities in life are nothing at best. We don't care. What is next at this rate? Daily bowing to the glorious leader? I think not. Let children drop out. We have plenty of prisons for them."
Wiping away the spittle forming on her lips, she lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply to calm herself.
When queried as to her rage at the proposed talk by the President, the enraged mother explained.
"Listen up! I told my kid the Presidents a Vampire....a werewolf....can't have them seeing their mama's a liar. And get than damn donkey away from me."