Man Apologizes for Naked Ass in Church

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Monday, 24 August 2009

image for Man Apologizes for Naked Ass in Church
The ass in question, after services.

A man in Zion, Utah apologized for showing his naked ass in church. The man, Brigham Heber Smith, said that he understood the rule that all males were supposed to wear slacks, a white shirt, and a tie in the building and that all women should be in a dress. He said, however, that under the circumstances, it should be okay that his ass was uncovered in plain sight.

Mr. Smith said that he rode his donkey to the church and that it started to hail golfball sized stones on his arrival. Due to the storm and the fear of hurting his animal, he brought the jackass into the church building.

Mrs. Emma Fielding Whitmer was upset that the animal ate her favorite hat and the crayons that she had brought for her class of children. "They couldn't color their pictures of Jesus today, because of that dumb ass...and his donkey."

Brother Hyrum Woodruff, another member of the congregation, was also upset. "I didn't come here today to have to look at Brig's hairy ass. If I have to see anyone's ass in church, I'd rather it be Sister Camilla Benson's. Her ass is smaller and leaner... and has won the donkey race at the county fair the past two years."

Brother George Albert McKay, a blind member of the congretation, sat down next to the donkey, thinking that it was his wife. Bishop Newell Rigdon said that "it was a little amusing when George leaned over and tried to kiss Brig's ass."

Smith has promised to keep his ass out of church from now on.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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