Gov. Schwarzenegger Lays Off The Entire California National Guard

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 17 August 2009

image for Gov. Schwarzenegger Lays Off The Entire California National Guard
A photo taken in June of members of The California National Guard in the Mojave Desert in search of illegal aliens.

BEVERLY HILLS, California - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger visiting some old friends in Beverly Hills held a news conference at the Celluloid Queen Hotel.

He informed the assembled media that due to the mounting expenses as well as the $26 billion dollar state deficit he had decided to cut costs by totally doing away with the state's National Guard.

A reporter for The Beverly Hills Daily Tribune, Galago Trebbiano asked him if he didn't think that it was quite a drastic measure.

The governor looked at him and shouted, "Yes, Galago I do think that it is a drastic measure. Do you think that I am a stupid Austrian or what?"

Schwarzenegger continued, "But my backgammon is against the wall and I find myself between a rocket and a hard place."

"Excuse me governor but you are totally messing up your cliches big-time."

"Cliches? Cliches? Galago you want a cliche? Try this one on for size. When this press conference is over, I am going to personally drop kick you sarcastic ass from here to your mama's house you skinny little weasel-looking piece of kangaroo pocket lint."

"Excuse me governor...but where's the cliche?"

The governor jumped off the podium and started running after Galago who looked like an African gazelle running from a cheetah.

As they were rounding the corner by a Home Depot you could hear the governor yelling, "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make a laughing hyena laugh if the shit-ball doesn't want to!"

SIDENOTE: When Gov. Schwarzenegger was asked who was going to replace the furloughed National Guard soldiers the governor replied that he would fill some of the slots with homeless people, illegal aliens, and the cast members of the cancelled show 'ER.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more