Congress Compromises on Affordable Health Care

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Wednesday, 8 July 2009

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"Everybody must stay well now!"

Washington DC: Congress has finally reached a compromise on a Health Care bill to cover all Americans. This reform bill balances the level of care and cost, such that President Obama is expected to sign it into law.

The bill considers only the government provided "Public Option", leaving all other existing private health plans in place. This "Public Option" selection will provide up to 300 million Americans with a first aid kit, enema bag, blood pressure meter, thermometer, rubber gloves, bubble wrap and a copy of Surgery for Dummies. Extra band aids and Aspirin are available at a nominal cost.

Under this cost effective "Public Option", all Americans under 65 years of age will get a new kit every two years when they see their doctor. However, senior citizens will get a new kit every year when they see their doctor.

In order to further strengthen the Health Care bill, Representative Barney Frank (D) MA and Senator Al Franken (D) MN have introduced an amendment banning measles, mumps and chickenpox.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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