Washington DC: The heinous three murders committed recently in Kansas, Arkansas and Washington DC by three deranged individuals has led the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to examine if a shared pathogen is the cause of these hate crimes.
NIH has isolated and identified the sewage for brains (SFB) virus in the killers DNA. The SFB virus causes the human brain to turn to a gelatinous mass of smelly brown stuff.
Further study has revealed that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the President of Iran, Kim Jong il the leader of North Korea, and Reverend J Wright of Chicago IL are in the early stages of the SFB virus. They have all exhibited symptoms of blatant uncontrolled diarrhea of the mouth. Additionally various domestic activist groups, such as junk scientists in the public interest, whacko environmentalists, rabid anti-abortionists and politicians, are suspected of being infected by the SFB virus.
The United Nations (UN) readily admits that the organization and some of the member states have been infected with the SFB virus. Thus, the UN has issued a world wide pandemic alert for the SFB virus. This alert is based on the observation of brain rot in repressive right and left wing governments, terrorist organizations and pirates.
There is no existing vaccine for the SFB virus. Currently the only treatment available is to permanently quarantine the afflicted individuals and entities.