Written by Bureau

Thursday, 30 July 2009

image for After 30 Years, Woman Discovers She's A Siamese Twin

After thirty years of "feeling the presence of another person around her", Helen Bratcher of Tanyard, Tennessee has learned that she has a Siamese Twin.

The two share the same head, torso, legs and feet except there are SIX toes on each foot.

"I could outrun any of the kids at school", Bratcher told a reporter for the 'Tanyard Tale'. "Also, I was really good at math. No I wasn't! That was the twin, I guess. Maybe." "No, it's me, Buttbrain!"

While Bratcher said that she often talked to herself, people just thought she was a little eccentric.

"I don't know what I'll call my twin but the name "Screwtape" keeps coming up." "No it doesn't." "I was worried there for awhile that I might be losing it completely but now the doctors think I have a Siamese Twin." "No you don't, Idiot!"

Although the doctors want Helen to return for a further examination, she doesn't think she will return.

"They might do one of those weird operations and separate us, like removing both my extra toes." "You won't go back until I say so, Missy! How'd you like to vomit pea soup all night?"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Women




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